Ritual of Feeling Good
I started creating what I call Ritual of Feeling Good years ago when I began my personal healing journey to bring more calm to my mind. I had struggled for a long time with anxiety and an over reactive nature to stress and conflict. And I was literally tired of it. My entire body was in a constant state of fatigue and it took all the strength I had to put on a smile and face the day. Some may call it depression, but it felt more like a big mountain of emotional weight from childhood, family, society - from all over! - that was leeching the life out of me a little more each day.
So as I started to understand and commit myself to the notion that "thoughts create our reality" I began to take the time needed to find out what it meant for me to feel good, both in my body and mind. At first, after I received my very first Reiki session I felt so much relaxation and melty calm in my body, it was as if legions of my ancestors since the beginning of time showed up and were cheering me on from all around, quite proud I'd found this blessed drop of the elixir.
As much as I couldn't believe this feeling was possible I continued on, wondering how to make this state of ease as permanent as possible! I went on to learn Reiki and gave it to myself EVERYDAY, partly to test it out and partly because I desperately wanted to feel better and nothing else helped me feel like this in my body. Reiki was something I could do and give to myself, meaning I didn't have to rely on someone else to give it to me, and I didn't have to fork out mounds of money each time I wanted to receive it. To me, it was a win-win.
And I started to feel better, chronic tension throughout my body lessened, and I felt softer, less prickly emotionally. I became a better listener. I became less stressed about money, living expenses, the strains of work. I started dancing again. Little by little the heavy armor of battle I'd been carrying for an indeterminable length of time began to fall away and I started to feel more like myself; wild, brave, creative and free.
Only then could I begin to see and feel what it meant to truly feel good. It wasn't the same as pleasure which was temporary or mild distraction like watching a movie or cozying up with a good book. Feeling good was like becoming aware of a light that was always on, like the sun, and inviting it into my being.
And when I could let that light in, it was like nothing would ever be the same again - in the best possible way.
I began with really small and easy rituals to help myself get used to this feeling, or titrating it into my mind in very small doses so I could slowly get used to it. Since Reiki was teaching me about the power of simplicity, I decided to start with the simplist thing I knew, nature. I would go for walks and open all my senses to the world around me.. the way shadows played on street corners, the heavy and perfect architecture of churches, the smile of a flower reflecting my own. I loved taking pictures so as I walked about I took pictures of everything that caught my interest. It was exhilerating, and fun! I made this into a regular thing, like once a month. This became my ritual of feeling good. All the while knowing this was something I was giving myself to heal the parts that needed healing and revive my inner lover of life.
And then slowly more rituals began to blossom, like buying myself flowers and writing in my journal at cafes. I noticed one ritual of feeling good that gave me the most fulfilling feeling of light-entering-into-my-body goodness was giving Reiki to others. It was like all the openings acquiesced and that "sunlight" poured into me with greatest velocity. And so like a pauper mad for coins laid out like a trail or path before her, I followed what felt best for me.
And the rest is, dare I say, history.
A ritual of feeling good simply is doing something for yourself with a conscious heart. There's no endgame, no making of money, it's not work. It's probably something you already do or used to do when you had "more time". For me whenever I go to the gym I feel it. I don't go for training I go mostly to move energy, and this feeling of scheduling time to move my body and energy feels divine. I'm always happier after I go. Even if it's just for a few minutes at a time.
Here are some other ways I submerge myself in the elixir field of a ritual of feeling good: Taking a scenic busride (or trainride when I was in NYC) to a beautiful place, eating a gorgeous French lunch, squeezing my own orange juice, picnic with trees, a long long bath, gazing at the ocean, tea ceremonies! You can check out my instagram @reikiwitholivea for more "scenes" and my hastag #ritualoffeelinggood to see how it's going.
So how about you, what makes you feel good? What do you wish you could do more of? What could you do right now, even if it's just for a minute or two, to gift yourself your prized attention of love and warmth?