Know thy Dopamine

This summer, after completing an incredible Reiki retreat in Barbados, I visited my old stomping ground and home of New York City. I was unexpectedly surprised at how good it felt to be back. In all honesty, I was nervous and afraid it would feel overwhelming and too abrasive after being away for so long, but I couldn't have been more wrong. It felt like slipping into a favorite old jacket that you haven't worn in a while and finding it still fits perfectly. I felt lucky to be in the passenger seat of my friend's car as they drove me into the city, first around my old neighborhood, passing my apartment in the village, the fountain I used to relax by and eat pizza on my days off, the little hidden park on the corner, restuarants, ice cream shop, all the things of yore that had connected my younger self to the place. I was happy to be home again.

It felt good to come back as a visitor. I don't suppose I could have imagined what it would be like to come back. New Yorkers tend to be die-hard lifers, I know I was, until I had to go. Truthfully, it wasn't an easy move, and I've never stopped grieving this great loss. So to come back was like coming home to your mom's house after the longest sojourn around the world, after she begged you not to go. She sees and knows you've changed, but doesn't say a word. Secretly, she's relieved you're still in one piece and healthy enough, ecstatic that you're home, casually puts your favorite pasta bake on the table that's specially made up but not too special to make you uncomfortable, and says, "Let's eat, I'm famished!" like it's any other Tuesday, as if you never left. It was like that. Still the same and deeply familiar, with both our arms wide open. I couldn't have been more grateful for the homecoming.

As we drove towards my hotel, we passed by some street art that was incredibly good to see. One was painted on the side of a tall building, high up on the upper floors, colorful and bright. It was titled: Love Letter. I read the words as we turned the corner, all teary-eyed and overwhelmed. And then around the next corner, another one caught my eye. This was closer to the ground, and I had to wait for people to clear it so I could see it. It was a statement, a prescription, a reminder, a clarion call in bright red graffiti: Dopamine.

Just seeing the word flooded me with good feelings. I loved it! What if all we had to summon our dopamine receptors was to say the word? Conjure it up and into existence like Beetlejuice! Think it and it shall be ours. Dopamine Dopamine Dopamine!

I'm happy to report that the entire stay was a dopamine rush like no other. Trust me when I say I'm daring life to top that because I returned home (my other home) completely recharged and feeling more like myself than ever before. That's the thing about dopamine: It's the quiet magic behind our motivation, joy, and sometimes otherworldly ability to keep going. Mood lifting is my M.O., though I'm still learning how to keep its flow steady; I like to think I can get back on track like a star.

We all need dopamine like we need water, and to have a constant flow in our brains and bodies, like a faucet that doesn't turn off. Feeling good from head to toe is the biggest rite of being human! Instead of chasing highs, we only need to know our hard and soft wiring by asking ourselves these questions: What do I really need? And what do I need to do to feel good?

I was duly inspired to write this piece for Brainz Magazine as a love note to cultivate your dopamine rush in hopes that it'll inspire your own customized elixir of bliss. Because if we can follow through on those small, simple, sometimes micro-actions that make our bodies feel an activating electric impulse, and our brains fill with yummy neurons, slow at first maybe, why not be curious about the outcome? This article is my red spray paint (err.. maybe light blue and sunrise pink!) reminder that only you know what you need to make feeling good, your art and art form. In short, here's my invitation: Get to know thy dopamine! Play, nurture, and claim it as your own. Feeling good isn’t selfish or silly, it’s sacred. And the more you practice it, the more you remind your bodymind that it's capable of lighting up, again and again.