I work with a lot of women. I'm a woman, I'm close to my sister and mother, and I have girlfriends I love and adore like sisters. So I'm engaged in the struggles of women on a daily basis which is no surprise to me as uncovering and healing the sacred feminine archetype is a big part of my life's work. I can honestly say that I've dedicated a lifetime to this quest and I certainly use every personal healing and one-on-one session with clients as part of my investigation and research into understanding how to fully access this extremely powerful, creative, life-fulfilling, yet tender and fragile place within us all, men and women alike.
In my healing practice in New York City, I work with women and men of all ages and a bulk of my clientele are women who are about to burst or are already bursting from frustration and mental agony about that taunting biological clock. It's no wonder, I myself am at an age where I honestly think about that clock too and wonder how it's all going to pan out. But regardless of the baby-making aspect of the clock, it's a time of deep transitioning from exploring to accomplishing.
I find myself espousing the creative power of the sacred feminine archetype now more than ever. And the bottom line question I get asked a lot (and share in) is:
How does a woman surrender into her sacred feminine when she has to build her empire, find a man to marry (to have the children she wants), and live in a house by the sea?!
I'll answer this slowly and then with some hard-edginess. This is your warning--embracing the sacred feminine is not for the faint of heart!
There's so much stored up for us in this lifetime. Loads and loads of dreams and desires manifesting their way into reality, enough for many lifetimes in fact. We will get everything we wish for and then some if we only open up to the fact that we'll always be goal-setting and desiring which is a good thing. Dreaming big ensures us a lifetime of new fulfilling experiences and opportunities to refine ourselves and live our love with greater and greater authenticity. It keeps us expanding into more and more of who we are, and we are boundless in what we can accomplish.
However, if we think for a moment that accomplishment will give us happiness, we're living in a fog. Accomplishment is just that, things you check off of a list. It doesn't guarantee deep satisfaction of the soul. The only thing that guarantees that is ourselves. Our willingness to feel that right now even with the to-accomplish list a mile and a half long staring us in the face.
So how do we get started? (Please note this post is directed towards women but it's for men too. Just change out the gendered words when reading.)
Open your eyes to what you can be thankful for right now and allow yourself to feel full.
Get really present to the amazing gifts that surround you. Hot water for your bath, that sunset, the way the taste of your favorite dessert grows richer with each bite, the sensation of your lover's arms wrapped around you. If you don't have a lover, tap into the sensuality that's available to you right now. The feeling of warmth and safety while wearing your favorite sweater and scarf. Relish it. Give thanks and appreciate just how lucky you are to feel so good right now. Then, dearest one, make this into a ritual. A practice. Everyday somehow and in some way. Practice this ritual of feeling good.
You may now be wondering how this helps you get a husband. Am I right? Let me tell you. We attract what we are. Do you really want to attract someone while living the embodiment of desperation, worry, and lack? Do you really want a man to save you and give you everything? If so, let me ask you this: Do you want to live feeling indebted to your man, feeling like you can't create this security and safety on your own? I don't. I've seen what this does to a woman's spirit. It's antiquated, sad, and dis-empowering for other women to witness (especially young women). And you will attract men who need to dominate you somehow to feel important about themselves. It's sick.
When you feel into your yummy sacred feminine, that power is incredibly strong, so strong you may not know what to do with such passion and intensity. A woman in her power is fierce and so strong and clever she could easily move a mountain without so much as gracefully lifting her pinky toe. She's scary to boys or men who are still developing into their sacred masculine, but she's irresistible to men who are also consciously in their power. My women, listen to me: You want this kind of man!
This man has a mature understanding of the sacred masculine archetype that's alive within him. He will want to take care of you, not out of a severely dated sense of obligation, but because he knows that serving you serves him too. He will respect all your wishes and worship your every body part, and most of all, he will love your mind and heart. He will bow to your femininity as you embrace it fully, because he will intuitively know that what you offer him is the world, and he will be humbled. And you will be IT for him. He will know that in loving you, the world loves him back 10-fold. Trust me, this is what you want to attract. But in order to fully become your divine birthright of the sacred feminine, you must first feel good. You must feel good about where you're at, what you're going through, and most especially about your body. Feeling good is hard work, at first, if you're not used to it. But know this: the more pain you experience, the greater is your ability is to appreciate life. This is your gift, can you receive that?
If not, that's ok. Start small.
Practice the ritual of feeling good everyday. See if you can feel good no matter what's going on around you. Remember to start small. Can you hear the birds singing outside your window? Do you feel the trees loving you like a parent? Do you see the sacred samadhi that is the sky showing you your inner world and potential?
What I'm saying here is that feeling good is serious business. It takes a kind of joyful and selfish discipline and sense of self-worth to understand the huge impact feeling good has on others, and the world. Your purpose in this life is to feel good.
The ritual of feeling good sets you up for being open to and receiving really big accomplishments, like meeting your husband. But mostly it brings you into alignment with great big love of every variety, in your work, relationships, and with yourself. And you deserve that. You deserve to have EVERYTHING on that list of yours my friend, and you will get it.